Into the Vortex
by TheBigCat
Summary: After a freak Dalek attack, the Doctor and Rose are sucked into a vortex... which sends them to an alternate universe? Teaming up with a insane fangirl that gets knocked out 5 times a day, extreme Monty Python references and a rock, they must stop the aliens crossing over between the universes. The multiverse is in BIG trouble.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One- Into the Vortex

Space. A wondrous, tumbling, vast place where just about anything can happen, as long as the universe thinks it's not completely outlandish. And, as everyone knows, the universe is pretty lenient about these things, even if they're completely deadly and dangerous…

Out of nowhere, a small metallic sphere is expelled into the empty blackness, where it drifts about for a day. It has no mass, yet simply hangs there, not moving, waiting… but for what?

That question is answered as, a thousand kilometers away, a sun implodes on itself, creating a supernova. The particles reach out to this small sphere, not any larger than 10 meters, and, without warning, the sphere slowly collapses apart. The outside folds, revealing a seemingly insignificant ship, not extraordinary in any way- except for its color. The blackened outsides seem to exist for the sole purpose of obstructing light. A motor from within the ship begins to purr, and gradually builds up to a deafening roar. We move towards the ship, and to one of the windows on the outside to see a bustling hive of machinery hard at work- but no crew. The ship seems to be manning itself.

Dodging erratically between swinging robot arms, we coast throughout the ship's internal workings. Engines, central computer processors, faster, faster! We can now hear steady snatches of conversation, but it's too indistinct to hear. And now a pipe spews out a great cloud of steam, and- finally! Moving creatures can be seen. But- what is that? Are they _cylinders_…?

_Whoosh!_ Out through another window, and now we speed up, faster again, until…

_(Doctor Who theme music starts)_

_The TARDIS is tumbling through the time vortex as words appear on the screen._

**_DOCTOR WHO_**

**_Starring_**

**_David Tennant_**

_More tumbling through the vortex._

**_Billie Piper_**

_We now travel into a red vortex, and the words grow, filling the screen._

**_INTO THE VORTEX_**

**_By TheBigCat_**

_The time vortex dissolves around us._

/DW\

"Ha!" crowed the Doctor, as he danced around the console of the TARDIS. "Did you see their faces when I picked up that torch?"

Rose Tyler laughed alongside him, quickly pressing a button to ensure that they stayed on the correct path. "Yeah, I meant to ask you, how did you get past the security? I tried, to get the Isolus pod into the torch, but they wouldn't let me in!"

The Doctor grinned widely. "Well, actually, I used the old stone diversion trick." Rose gaped at him.

"You mean, you just threw a pebble, and they ran after the noise?"

"Yup! You human can really be so thick sometimes, let me tell you…"

Rose dissolved into laughter on the console, while the Doctor regaled her with yet another one of his tall tales. They were enjoying themselves so much, in fact, that neither of them noticed when a red light started flashing.

"Wait," said Rose, pausing the Doctor mid-sentence.

"I know, right! Who would of thought that ol' Napoleon…" he rambled on.

"No, not that," murmured Rose, now frowning at the shaking console. "Why's the TARDIS…"

A huge tremor shook the entire ship, throwing them both to the floor. The Doctor struggled to stand up.

"What's going on?" yelled Rose.

"I don't know!" the Doctor yelled back. "Lemme just…" he hit a lever on the dashboard, wincing as it shocked him. "Ow. Okay, maybe…"

Rose was knocked against the central structure again as yet another shaking fit hit the TARDIS. The central monitor flickered on, and a view of the surrounding space could be seen. A black ship was cruising after them. And it seemed to be speeding up.

"Just great," groaned the Doctor. "All we needed. Yet another homicidal enemy trying to kill me."

"Wait, wait, back up," said Rose, holding her hands up. "Number one, what makes you think it's an enemy? And why can't I have homicidal enemies trying to kill me?"

"Well," replied the Doctor, now wrestling with a overly large switch on the side of the TARDIS. "You have enemies too, but they're just tiny ones. I, on the other hand, am more handsome, and therefore more jealous aliens have attempted killing me."  
"You are not more handsome!" retorted Rose, quickly ducking to avoid some debris now smashing around the inside of the ship. "And you still haven't answered my first question."

This was proven to be inconsequential, as, at that moment, the black ship opened a communication link with the TARDIS. The Doctor glanced at the screen, and his gaze quickly hardened.

"Daleks," he mouthed to Rose, who nodded mutely.  
"You-are-the-Doctor," the Dalek on the screen said tonelessly. "You-will-be-exterminated-"

"And how are you going to do that?" asked the Doctor, flicking switches and pressing buttons. "Hold this," he hissed at Rose, jabbing at a button, and ran off into the endless hallways. The Dalek ship began to shake, and a long, plunger-like extension slid out of the ship.

"Okay," muttered Rose to herself. "A ship, piloted by Daleks, that looks like a Dalek. I'm pretty sure that breaches at least one part of the Evil Overlord List."

Then, the ship started to fire. More shakes wracked the frame of the TARDIS, and Rose grasped the central console to stay upright. The Doctor dashed into the room, holding something that looked vaguely like a USB aloft. He ducked underneath the mainframe, apparently searching for something.

"C'mon, c'mon," he said, as yet more blasts emitted from the Dalek ship.

"Doctor?" Rose yelled from her position up above.

"Not now!" he yelled back. "Oh... gotcha!" He jabbed the USB into a port, tucked away from sight, and scrambled out. "Here... we... go!" he crowed, pressing the proverbial 'big red button'. There was a pause.

"Nothing happened," remarked Rose, still holding down her own button.

"You can let go of that now," he said absently. The Dalek ship kept on firing, and Rose was pretty sure that the TARDIS's defenses were about to break.

"Ah!" he said in surprise, as a purple light began to flash erratically. "Grab onto something! Or better yet, lie down on the floor. We're probably going to end up there anyway."

Rose frowned. "What?"

The TARDIS shook more than ever before, and was whipped into a different vortex- but instead of a steady red light, it was...

"Hot pink," stated Rose. She was beginning to feel dizzy, and maybe the Doctor's idea of lying down wasn't so bad.

The two passengers collapsed to the floor as the TARDIS wove its way through the vortex.

* * *

**(A/N: Hello! This is my first Doctor Who fic, so please don't kill me!  
**

**I hope you like my (frankly pathetic) writing. I hope to update... once a week sounds good, if my parents permit it. :-) **

**~Kitty)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two- A Whole New World

_And now back to Doctor Who: Into the Vortex_

As the TARDIS touched down, the Doctor and Rose slowly regained consciousness.

"Ohhh," groaned Rose. "My poor head." The Doctor, however, had more important things in mind than some bruised body limbs.

"My coat!" he shrieked, jumping to his feet. "Who would do something this horrible to my poor, innocent coat!" Rose turned over to look at him, blinking slowly.

"What happened to your coat?"

"It's ripped!" he yelled, shoving it in her face. "Who did this?"

"Well," she murmured, still a bit woozy. "Technically the Daleks did it..."

"They will pay," he stated.

"What, and they weren't going to before?"

"They will pay extra. My poor coat. Did you know, Janis Joplin gave it to me?"

Abandoning that conversation, the Doctor leapt over to the complex array of buttons, levers and interfaces that was the TARDIS, and began fiddling.

"Aha!" he said in glee. Rose walked over to where he was.

"What is it? More importantly, where and when are we? Also," she said, raising an eyebrow. "Where are the Daleks, and what were you doing with that USB?"

"Ahh, the Universal Serial Bus," he said, still fiddling. "More apt than anyone on Earth thinks. It really is universal. And on that Universal Bus- I like that, I think I'll keep on using it- was the essence of the alternate universe we went to last time. Cybus Industries," he added at her questioning look. Rose nodded in understanding, and came to stand next to him.

"See, using the essence of the alternate world, we could open up a sort of 'gate' to another dimension... I guess," he continued.

"Right, more wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey stuff. So we're back on the other Earth? Can we go and see Mickey?"

The Doctor winced. He had been afraid of that. "Uh, not exactly. See, when we crossed over last time, we didn't exactly mean to do it. Now, since we were actively forcing our way into another universe... well, it might be inhabited by flying pigs for all we know." He suddenly stood bolt upright, and strode over to the TARDIS doors. "Right! No time like the present!" And he ran enthusiastically outside.

Rose paused. "You, know, he could have just used the scanners," she told the TARDIS. She sighed, and followed him. Out into a new world.

Kitty Eden was reading in bed when the noise started. She had been using her Kobo to surf the web for fanfiction. She had just picked a Doctor Who fic called 'A Life With Rose' and was extremely happy about it. Of course, it was 11 o'clock at night, but when had that ever bothered her.

Then, there was a whooping noise. Not like at the football, but more... mechanical?

"Okay, definitely mechanical," Kitty decided aloud. She then executed a perfect Maneuver 31- that is, diving underneath the bed to hide. She watched in utter shock as a 1960s police box materialised in her bedroom. She pinched herself to make sure that she wasn't dreaming, then growled softly in pain when it appeared that she wasn't.

Calming down slightly, she tried very hard to be invisible.

/DW\

The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS to what looked like a standard teen's bedroom. Completely ignoring this, he rushed to the nearest window and threw it open. He looked outside in glee.

"Rose, look at this!" he called excitedly. She stayed where she was, in the doorway of the TARDIS, but the Doctor took no notice.

"No airships, no bloodthirsty zombies, no Lady Gaga, just an ordinary, beautiful, universe! In fact," he added, quickly licking the wall. "Australia, 2014. Ugh, I'm never licking a paint wall again. Rose?"

"Doctor," she sighed. "We're trespassing. Again." Indeed they were. A small, brown haired girl had slipped out from underneath the bed. The two travellers glanced at each other, and decided to go for their standard approach.

"Hiiiiii," they chimed in unison. The girl blinked, and pointed slowly at the Doctor.

"Doctor," she stated. The man in question nodded, and she moved onto Rose.

"Rose," she added. Rose nodded. There was a long pause.

"Oh. My. God!" the girl suddenly squealed. She glanced at the door, and continued, but a bit quieter. "I can't believe it, this is so cool, why am I not fainting? I've never fainted before, this is so awesome! I think I'm going to faint, yup, I'm gonna faint, catch me, okay?"

She promptly fainted. Rose quickly caught her and laid her on the bed.

There was a long, ringing silence while the Doctor stared at Rose. Then...

"Well, that was a new one," remarked the Doctor cheerily.

/DW\

Kitty woke slowly to find two people intently staring down at her. She eeped and hurriedly sat herself up.

"Hello," said the man. "I'm-"

"The Doctor, I know," interrupted the girl. He blinked and tried again.

"This is-"

"Rose."

The aforementioned Rose decided to take over.

"He's a-"

"Time Lord, from the planet Gallifrey, on his Tenth Regeneration."

"And," prompted Rose. "He travels in a-"

"TARDIS, which stands for Time and Relative Dimension in Space, and happens to be parked over there. Oh, and it can travel in time and space."

The Doctor blinked a few times. "Do we know you?"

"Nope!" replied the girl cheerfully, proud of herself. "But I know you!"

"Who are you?" Rose tried.

"Kitty Eden, Destroyer of Worlds, the Oncoming Storm, Eater of the Ham Jam Sandwich, Knight of the Decagonal Table, Cynic, Official PPC Writer, General Oddity, and Whovian."

She took a deep breath. "But you can just call me Kitty."

"Okay... Kitty, then. How do you know who we are?" asked the Doctor, fearing another insane answer. The girl visibly brightened.

"Ooh, that's an easy one!" She dashed out of the room. Rose and the Doctor turned to look at each other.

"This is your fault," they both declared.

"What? But you were the one who used the stupid USB on the TARDIS!" Rose exclaimed.

"Yeah, and you didn't notice the flashing red light that usually signifies something's wrong."

"Oh, what happened to mauve?"

"Didn't you hear? They changed Galactic Protocol last year."  
"Doctor, we time travel."  
All further discussion was cut off as Kitty re-entered the room, beaming proudly.

"Found it!" she declared, and shoved a DVD case into their faces. They took one look at the cover image, and turned to Kitty.

"Explain," ordered the Doctor dangerously. Kitty simply looked puzzled. Rose suddenly understood, and nudged the Doctor quickly before any collateral damage could be done.

"It's a different universe," she hissed at him. Kitty overheard this, and snapped her fingers.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "I get it now, you crossed over to this universe, like in The Age of Steel. In this universe, all your adventures are chronicled on TV!"

"Wait," said, Rose, frowning. "There's no alien attacks on this Earth?"

Kitty shrugged. "They're generally hoaxes. I don't think there's been a genuine one yet." She became her insane self in an instant. "But I always hoped something like this would happen, and now you're here. Yay! Hey," she thought for a second. "My brother and I are watching an episode of- uh- your show tomorrow morning! Wanna watch?"

Rose gave the Doctor puppy eyes, and Kitty laughed. "Aww, you guys are so cute together!"

They turned and looked at her. She gulped. "Er, never mind."

The Doctor sighed, and finally gave in. "Fine, fine, we can watch. But won't your parents notice if there's people who look like..." He checked the actors on the DVD case. "...David Tennant and Billie Piper in your living room?"

Kitty slapped her forehead. "Oh, I didn't think of that. Poo."

Rose tapped the Doctor's hand. "Remember the SEP field you mentioned to me a week or two ago?"

"Oh, Douglas Adams!" Kitty exclaimed. "He was an absolute genius! I love his books, read them any time I have a chance."

"I'll have you know I practically wrote most of So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!" protested the Doctor.

"Not in this universe," dismissed Kitty. "Anyway, SEP?"

"Yes!" exclaimed Rose. "Someone Else's Problem! As long as they don't really care about us, they can't see us! We're somebody else's problem!"

"Great!" cheered Kitty. "Kay and I are watching Fear Her, so see you tomorrow! I gotta finish reading that fanfic."

"G'night," yawned Rose, and headed to the TARDIS. The Doctor made to follow, then turned to Kitty curiously. "Fanfic?"

"Oh, nothing," came Kitty's muffled voice from underneath the covers. He raised an eyebrow, but made no comment.

The SEP field flickered as it engulfed the TARDIS for the night.

**(A/N:**

**Me back! And the Word Count is gradually increasing! In other news, I'm in the story now! Yay. This fic is set directly after Fear Her. Should be fun. Can't believe it's progressing so fast.**

**~Kitty)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three- Here Comes Trouble**

_And now back to Doctor Who: Into the Vortex_

"Good morning," the Doctor informed Kitty, who had, in some freak of nature, gotten dressed and prepared at 6.00 in the morning.

"Hi again," replied Kitty, beginning to make her bed. "Where's Rose?"

"Oh, she's not much of a morning person."

"Wuzzgoinon?" Rose peeked out of the TARDIS, and smiled as she took in the alternate universe. "Great! So, Doctor Who, right?"

"My name is not Doctor Who!" protested the title name of the show. "It's the Doctor? Can't TV people get their facts right?"

"Not going to happen, that's like saying politicians will ever be honest," Rose finally exited the TARDIS, clutching an object that looked suspiciously like a pair of glasses.

"Oh, that universe too?"

"Yyyeep."

"Right then!" said the Doctor happily. "Got the SEP? Yes? Right then! Time for some Saturday morning television!"

The SEP flickered into life, and Kitty, briefly, couldn't see the two. But then, they formed back into fuzzy existence.

"Only you should be able to see and hear us," the Doctor informed Kitty, who grinned wildly.

"Yay! Secrets!"

/DW\

As they descended the stairs of Kitty Eden's house, her brother Kay joined them.

"Hey Kit," he greeted them. "Got the DVD?"

"Yep!" she replied.

"Which Doctor?" he queried.

"Ahhh, Tenth."

"But I wanted to see Eleven! Or even better, Twelve!"

"Don't think they're on DVD yet, Kay."

"There's a Twelve?" mused Rose to herself.

"Yeah," whispered Kitty to her. "In our universe, there's been Twelve regenerations of Doctors. I guess it must be a bit weird for you guys, I mean, we're talking about what you're going to be like."

"I don't really like the look of Twelve," Kay chattered on. Rose tried desperately not to laugh at the expression on the Doctor's face.

"Right!" declared Kitty as they reached the living room. "Ladies and gents, ready to watch some quality Doctor Who?"

"Me!" cheered Rose and Kay, while the Doctor raised a bemused eyebrow.

"Alrighty then!" she yelled, pressing the play button, and sinking into a couch. The other three occupants of the room followed suit. The opening sequence began to play, and the two unseen watchers nodded as they recognised the street. Rose leaned over to tap Kitty on the shoulder.

"We were there just before we came into this universe, you know," she whispered. Kitty shushed her, but continued watching with a bit of a smile on her face.

The title sequence began to play, and the Doctor apparently liked the music. He could be heard muttering something like "need to play when TARDIS is in motion".

The eager audience laughed in all the funny parts, and gasped as Chloe's Demon Dad came to life. As the episode wound down, Kitty suddenly sat bolt upright.

"A storm is coming," said TV-Doctor, and Kitty scrambled for the remote. And then, the preview for the next episode began to play.

"This looks interesting," muttered Rose, but the Doctor's expression matched Kitty's, and he pulled her out of the room, and upstairs.

"Okay, what was that for?" demanded Rose, hands dramatically on her hips.

"Spoilers," replied the Doctor shortly, now dusting himself off. "You can't see your personal future, remember? Come on Rose, we need to go. We've seen enough here."

"But... do we have enough power to get back?" protested the girl, now grasping at straws to stay, even if she didn't know why. Kitty burst into the room, panting frantically. "Doctor!" she exclaimed.

"Yes, of course I do, after that incident, I keep spares stored in the TARDIS. Goodbye, Miss Eden, unless you have something important...?"

"Actually, yes," gasped Kitty. "Doctor... I think... something followed you."

/DW\

"What makes you think that this has to do with the Doctor?" questioned Rose as they trailed behind the Time Lord, now striding down the stairs.

"Well, for one thing, we don't usually have giant black spaceships crash landing in gardens in this universe."

"Point," acknowledged Rose, hurrying to catch up. "Wherever he goes, trouble seems to follow him."

"Oi!"

"Moving on," continued Rose hurriedly. "What did this spaceship look like?"

"Maybe... twice the size of the outside of the TARDIS? And black. Very, very, black."

"Oh, damn."

"Why?"

"Because," interjected the Doctor. "That spaceship's the reason we ended up in this universe in the first place." He increased his stride.

/DW\

"That's it," Kitty pointed rather unnecessarily at the ship.

"Yes, I see." The Doctor began scanning it with his sonic screwdriver, just to make sure it was the real one. The screwdriver beeped, and he stood up.

"Right," he stated. "Back away very quickly."

"Why?" asked Kitty curiously. The ship opened up, and there was a pause.

"Wow," commented Kitty. "R2D2 really let himself go."

"Run!" yelled the Doctor, and grabbed the teen's arm, trusting Rose to follow them. The Daleks were rolling after them. The- ahem -three Daleks, that looked like a cross between a pincushion and a Star Wars robot. Yeah.

They dashed up to Kitty's room, yet again, and rushed into the TARDIS. Kitty promptly rushed out again to grab two objects from her room. Rose's arm stretched out, and pulled her into the police box.

Kitty gazed around, and then, remembering a quote from Clara Oswald, grinned slightly.

"It's smaller on the outside," she said.

"That's a change," replied Rose. "Why did you bring that? I mean, a Kobo, sure, I can sort of understand that, but a rock?"

"He's my friend," sniffed Kitty.

"A rock."

"Well, why not?"

Rose shook her head, beginning to seriously doubt the younger girl's sanity.

"We're going to the Karrakatta Cemetery," said the Doctor, staring at a monitor.

"Why?" asked Rose.

"That's where the homing beacon is," he muttered absently.

"Well, if you're not going to tell us," Rose began.

The Doctor sighed; most conversations like this with Rose ended up with her somehow getting the information anyway. He began to set the coordinates for the appropriate location.

"Well, we didn't just come to this universe by chance, something pulled us here. Can't believe I didn't notice it before."

"Are you sure we're just travelling in space? I really don't want to miss my birthday and become 14 without noticing it," Kitty frowned.

"Oh, quite sure," replied the Doctor, still moving around the console.

"Says Mr Back-in-a-day-oops-a-year," retorted Rose.

**(A/N:**

**Oooh! Fun, fun, fun!**

**Next chapter, I'll be introducing a new character, and lots of comedy. Prepare for extreme Monty Python.**

**Please follow my Twitter account, there's a link on my profile. I have tons of fun stuff, and you'll get a notification when I update a story.**

**Lotsa Love,**

**~Kitty)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Return of the Evil R2D2s**

_And now back to Doctor Who: Into the Vortex_

The Doctor pulled a final lever, and prepared to press the 'big red button'.

"Allons-y!" he grinned, despite the gravity of the situation.

"What does that even mean?" asked Kitty, and the TARDIS was off.

"Atta girl," the Doctor patted the side of the TARDIS happily, and turned to Kitty."It means 'let's go' in French. Apt, isn't it?"

But Kitty didn't look too well. She was clutching the side of the TARDIS, as though as she was dizzy. The Doctor narrowed his eyes curiously, she was perfectly fine before the ship had started travelling. And people didn't get motion-sick on the TARDIS...

"Anything wrong?" he asked flippantly. Kitty groaned slightly.

"It just,,, feels wrong. Like I shouldn't be here. Like... um. The mind of Rassilon?"

"That was... centuries ago."

"I watched the episode last week."

"Oh." The Doctor watched her wincing, and wondered what it could be. Fortunately, Rose saved him from the awkwardness of the situation.

"So, what do your parents do?"

Kitty shrugged. "Well, mum works at home most of the time, but she went to visit her sister in America this week. So, if the Daleks so take over Australia, she should be okay."

"Do NOT joke about that," the Doctor warned. "The universe has a strange sense of humour."

"And Dad is admin at a university," Kitty continued. "He trusts me enough to stay at home most of the time."

"What, not your brother?"

"Nah, he's going to a sleepover at his friend's place. He just loves to watch Doctor Who with me in the mornings." She winced again.

"Okay," said the Doctor. "We've landed. Behind a rubbish tip, so people don't notice it."

"Just put up the SEP," grumbled Rose, and the two regular time travellers headed for the door. Kitty frowned at them.

"What?" asked Rose.

"Well, it just occured to me that if you walk out the door looking like two of the world's most famous actors, there may be trouble."

"Oh rubbish, this look is timeless," scoffed the Doctor, and walked out the door.

The two girls waited.

"Give him one minute," advised Rose. "Three... two... one..."

The Doctor burst back inside, and slammed the door behind him. He looked rather dishevelled, and female squeals (Plus one male) were emanating from outside.

"Maybe you're right," he conceded, and headed to the wardrobe.

/DW\

Ten minutes later, the Doctor and Rose stepped out of the TARDIS, looking like completely different people.

"Nice job with the hair," Kitty complemented. Rose's hair was up in a tight bun, and she looked nothing like her usual self. Meanwhile, the Doctor was wearing an incredibly realistic black wig ("From the Ventarius System") and had abandoned his usual coat for a black T-Shirt with a leaf on it.

"I still don't see why you needed to change," Rose informed Kitty, who had a blue dress and a feather boa on.

"I like being different!" she shot back cheerfully. "What's life without a bit of spice?"

"To be perfectly honest, I think my life has a bit too much spice," Rose muttered, only half-joking. The Doctor had his sonic screwdriver out, and was attempting to use it without anyone noticing, and subsequently glomping him. He pointed it to the east, and was rewarded by a pinging noise. He grinned. "Right! Follow those blips!" He set off, weaving between the gravestones. The two girls followed uneasily, Kitty still clutching her rock.

"Don't you think it's... I don't know, a bit sacrilegious to be here?" Rose asked.

"Oh, it'll be fine," dismissed the Doctor.

"Hey! You lot!" a guard shouted from near the gates. "You shouldn't be here! Visiting hours are over!"

"Engage emergency protocol 23b!" hissed the Doctor.

"What?"

"RUN!"

And they ran, the guard still chasing after them.

/DW\

"Oh, it'll be fine, he says," Rose gasped for breath. "Yes, no one's here, no one at all."

"Oh, shut up," retorted the Doctor, leaning against the function room wall. "Just once I was wrong..."

"This is so cute!" squealed Kitty, and immediately shut up as they both stared at her. "Er, anyway. Where did those Daleks come from?"

"Oh, we just found them," said the Doctor casually, now locking the door behind them.

"Found them? Drifting in that area of the galaxy? The Daleks don't go in that area!" Rose protested.

"What do you mean?" asked the Doctor.

"Well, that was a proto-zone."

"The Dalek may fly south with the sun or the Slitheen or the Cybermen may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to the galaxy?" the Doctor asked.

"Okay, what does that even mean?" demanded Kitty.

"Are you suggesting Daleks migrate?" continued Rose, ignoring the younger girl.

"Not at all. They could be carried," answered the Doctor.

"What, a vortex carried a Dalek?"

"It could grip it by the plunger!"

"It's not a question of where it grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A wormhole that small could not carry a Dalek that heavy!"

"Look, can we please continue with finding the transmitter?" interjected Kitty tiredly.

"Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a vortex needs to swirl about forty-three times every second, right?" the Doctor explained.

"Please, Doctor!" Kitty exclaimed.

"Am I right?"

"I'm not interested!" Kitty yelled.

"It could be carried by a blue vortex!" Rose realised.

"A blue vortex, but not a pink one. That's my point."

"Oh yeah, I agree with that."  
"You know what," Kitty raised her hands in the air in frustration. "I'm just going to find the transmitter myself if you two continue like this."

"But then of course a- blue vortexes are non-migratory," the Doctor said, snapping his fingers.

"Oh yeah," Rose grimaced. Kitty had, by this point, simply walked away, tired of the whole conversation.

"Wait a moment! What if two vortexes brought the Daleks over together!"

"Nah, they'd have to have it on a line."

"Well, simple!" the Doctor exclaimed. "They'd use a time-space resistant rope!"  
"Held by the edge of the vortex?"

"Well, why not?"

**(A/N-**

**Oh, this chapter was so much fun! The Monty Python skit at the end especially. Just keep on reviewing, I'll keep on writing.**

**Speaking of which, I really would like it if I could get reviews. I only have three. And those are all for Chapter 1.  
**

**Lotsa Love,**

**~Kitty)**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five- A Startling Find

_And now back to Doctor Who: Into the Vortex._

After the Doctor and Rose had finished their, frankly irrelevant, conversation, they joined Kitty. She hadn't been very successful in her search of the small room, and had somehow managed to get herself tied up thoroughly in the curtains.

"But those curtains are only half a metre long," said Rose in shock.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm impossible, I know," grumbled Kitty. "Just get me down, okay?"

This was achieved by slitting the heavy drapes with Rose's Swiss Army Knife.

"My boa!" Kitty yelled. "It's ripped!"

"Oh, you sound just like the Doctor."

"Hey!"

When they had sufficiently argued about torn up articles of clothing, and the similarities of Kitty's and the Doctor's personalities, the Doctor whipped out his sonic screwdriver and started up the incessant beeping again.

"When the beeps get closer together, we'll know we're on the right track," he explained. "And once we're really close, they'll just be one continuous drone."

"Like we're playing Hot and Cold," Rose realised.

"Exactly!"

They cautiously exited the function room, and, holding the screwdriver aloft, began creeping through the gravestones. The beeps became faster and faster as they headed towards the eastern part of the cemetery.

"It's somewhere over here," whispered Rose.

"Why are we whispering?" whispered the Doctor.

"I have no idea!" said Kitty in a normal tone of voice.

The beeping increased, and the Doctor quickly put up the SEP field. Finally, they were led to...

"The grave of Wally Witherbones," read Rose aloud.

"Hee hee- Witherbones," Kitty giggled. The Doctor glanced down at his screwdriver, still emitting steady beeps, and glanced around.

"There's some kind of passageway below the grave, the beeps haven't intensified yet."  
"Well, let's find it," Rose declared, already beginning to check the surrounding pavement. Kitty glanced around, clearly bored. The Doctor and Rose searched for several minutes. Kitty leaned against Wally's gravestone. There was a click, and a whirring of machinery-

"I FOUND IT!" came the yell. The two time travellers turned around. Where the stone used to be, there was a swinging trapdoor, and the echo of a scream. But no Kitty.

/DW\

"You go first," insisted Rose stubbornly. "I'm not parachuting off to certain doom again."

The Doctor protested weakly about how "it might not actually be certain doom", but quickly gave in, and slid into the trapdoor.

It was a dark tube, and it appeared to be greased, even though there was no apparent residue. The ride took, all in all, 20 seconds to complete. He landed at the doorway of a drab, gloomy room.

"It's clear!" he yelled up the slide, and turned back, observing the room fully now. It was dusty and had a large box, somewhat resembling a coffin, standing in the middle. Two corridors led off on opposite sides. No signs of life, however, the screwdriver's beeping had grown louder.

Rose arrived at the bottom, knocking the Doctor slightly off balance. He gripped the frame to steady himself, turning to glare at the girl, who grinned cheekily.

"Order of business," he began. "Find the transmitter. Find out what our enemies are doing. Find Kitty. Find a way home. Find chips."

"Chips should be higher on the list," Rose grumbled. "Kitty?" The word echoed eerily around the darkened halls. There was no response.

She stepped carefully into the room, and glanced at the two possible directions.

"Eenie meeny miney moe?" she suggested.

"No need, it's that way," he pointed his screwdriver at the left hand tunnel. "Follow those beeps!"

There was a pause.

"Okay, I'm never saying that again."

/DW\

The corridor was lit with a light source that came from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. The sonic screwdriver beepings were bleeding together, and the walls seemed to thrum with power.

"This is alien technology," the Doctor decided. "Humans aren't this advanced yet in 2014, even on this Earth."

"I thought Kitty said there are no aliens in this universe?"

"She did, and I'm pretty sure she's right."

They continued on in silence, until a more definite light source appeared. The beeps were now one continuous whine now.

"It's in there," declared the Doctor, pointing to the doorway from which the light emitted. They entered.

In the middle of the wide, circular room sat a pedestal with a glowing blue gem. The gem was sending up a wide beam of bright light directly up to some sort of machinery, which, in turn, sent the beam directly into space.

"Impressive, impressive," the Doctor muttered, running his hands over the smooth surface of the gem. "Sending a distress signal to the TARDIS, she just locked straight on to it, and the Daleks followed. But why?" He examined it for a moment, before pointing the sonic at it, deactivating the glow. Unlocking mechanisms clicked, and a part of the wall opened, dumping an unconscious Kitty unceremoniously onto the ground.

"Go get her, will you?" the Time Lord requested without looking. Rose hurried over to grasp the girl by the shoulders, glancing curiously at him, who was now attempting to move the gem. She slapped Kitty lightly in the face, who woke with a start, blinking a couple of times.

"What happened?" she whispered hoarsely.

"You tell us," Rose replied, watching the Doctor, reattaching the gem and cleaning the area. "We just found you like this."

"All I remember is going down the slide, then...nothing."

"Okay," the Doctor finished up. "Let's go."

Kitty seemed surprised about this. "Aren't you going to look around a bit?"

"Why would we do that?" asked Rose.

"I don't know. Don't you have to check something out here? And how will you get out? There's only one entrance."

Rose narrowed her eyes. There was something very wrong here.

"Okay then," she quickly agreed. "I'll go this way, you and the Doctor can go the other."

She moved to give the Doctor a quick hug goodbye, not missing a dark flash of triumph on Kitty's face.

"That's not Kitty." she hissed in his ear.

* * *

**(A/N:**

**Cliffie! What happened to me? Well, I'm not dead. I hope.**

**Yes, I'm attempting to keep myself from being a Mary Sue. Hope I'm succeeding. I'm trying to keep Rose and Kitty friends, and the Doctor only stopping her from dying because... well, she's just a kid.**

**My profile has a poll on the fate of Kitty, so go vote!**

**Please review!**

**~Kitty)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six- Mist of the Umbra**

_And now back to Doctor Who: Into the Vortex._

The Doctor nodded, almost imperceptibly, and drew back.

"Come along then, Kitty." he motioned behind his back for Rose to follow.

"Okay, I'll start off then." Rose walked a couple of steps in the other direction, then doubled back when she was sure that they had turned the corner.

"So, Miss Eden," the Doctor was saying. "What do you say for a quick trip in the TARDIS when this is all over?"

"Sure," replied Probably-not-Kitty. "Sounds fun." Rose inched along the corridor, and peered around the bend. The Doctor had pressed his fingers to Definitely-not-Kitty's temple, and she was silently struggling. She gasped suddenly, and slumped in the Doctor's arms.

"She seems to be unconscious a lot," commented Rose.

"If it really is her," muttered the Doctor. "I think the slide is this way."  
They set off again down the corridor, this time dragging a comatose girl behind them.

"How do you do that, you know, thing, where you knock people out?" queried Rose.

"Time Lord ability," he replied. "I go into their mind and touch the area of the brain that controls sleep, it usually works."

After arriving at the entrance, they stood there and stared at it for a moment.

"Doctor?" asked Rose eventually.

"Yes?"

"I just realised that Fake-Kitty probably wanted to keep us down here for a reason."

There was a long pause.

"You know, you're probably right."

There was a growl behind them.

"And that's the reason. Come on, get up!"

"Can't we just leave Kitty here as bait?"

"That would be mean. Hurry up."

Rose scrambled up the slide, using her knife for grip, not daring to look back. She grabbed the girl who looked quite a lot like Kitty Eden by the back of her shirt.

"KEEP GOING," yelled the Doctor. "EVERYTHING'S FINE."

More growls and an animal scream emitted from below.

"Yeah, right," grunted Rose, nearly at the top. It was definitely easier coming down.

"I'm at the top!" she called down.

"Great. Move to the side."

There was a massive whoosh of air, and up out of the tunnel came the Doctor, looking a bit windswept. He was clutching the sonic screwdriver, which seemed to be pushing out a continuous stream of air.

"Right!" he grinned, not seeming fazed at all by meeting a massive homicidal monster. "To the TARDIS!"

/DW\

"She's on the sick bay bed," reported the Doctor, heading straight for the lab. "I think it's time to stop those Daleks."

Rose blinked. "Doctor..."

"No time, Rose, I shoulda done this ages ago."

"But Doctor..."

"Sorry, tell me some other time."

"Doctor." She grabbed his shoulder and turned him directly around. He stared at No-Way-Is-This-Kitty, standing in the doorway.

"Oh," he said, attempting to collect his thoughts. "Wait a moment. Okay."

He took a breath.

"What have you done with Kitty?" he asked, his eyes flashing.

"She's right here," the girl laughed. Rose nudged him.

"Possession," she mumbled softly.

The Doctor bit his lip, thinking. "So you're not from this universe. Hum."

"I was sucked through decades ago," the girl using Kitty's face answered.

"Oooh, ooh," the Doctor paced back and forth. "Possession, memory recall, that's not much to go on... I would say Isolus except they're all in their pod..."

"She's glowing blue," Rose added. Indeed, her skin was emitting a light blue shine.

"Yes, thank you!" he exclaimed. "You're a..." he said an odd, melodic word that the TARDIS didn't seem to translate properly. Rose frowned.

"Sorry, what?"

"She's a..." the odd word was pronounced again.

"I didn't exactly catch that."

"A..." the word again.

The oddly named creature was watching this with an expression of dark amusement. "You might want to call me an Umbra. It's certainly easier to say, although it is a bit... primitive."

"Umbra then," Rose decided.

"It means 'shade'," the Umbra added helpfully.

"All right, thank you for that. Now, what do you want?" the Doctor asked.

The Umbra smiled slightly. It wasn't exactly what you'd call a pleasant, inviting smile, either.

"I thought you'd never ask. I want your bodies."

"Wait, what?"

The Umbra blushed slightly. "That came out wrong. Um, I want your minds. I'm going to possess you," it clarified. "I can split my mist as many times as I want, you know."

"Okay, thanks for that," Rose smiled pleasantly. "There's one thing you should know, though."

"What's that?"

"Never tell the protagonists your evil plan before you execute it."

/DW\

The Umbra, in the body of Kitty, was now locked inside the quarantine chamber. Rose dusted her hands off, and, whistling a happy tune, strolled off to see what the Doctor was doing. He was apparently constructing an odd-looking machine from spare parts.

"What does it do?" She leaned down to where he was, and eyed the contraption curiously.

"It connects to the TARDIS central core," he explained, tinkering with some of the wires. "It could, plausibly, suck all of the Daleks into a single spot. If we travel in time to just after the Daleks arrived, we can transport them away before they do any damage."  
"Brilliant!" Rose grinned. "Where should we bring them?"

"Well, somewhere far away from people, obviously. I would suggest a place, but in this world it could be completely different. And the only person who really knows this world is..."  
"Kitty," completed Rose with a groan. "So we have to get the Umbra out of her. Why can't we have a normal day for once?"

"That would be boring. Plus, if you've forgotten already, our lives are a television show."

"Right," agreed Rose, getting up with a groan. "So, how do we exorcise the Umbra?"

"Well, I had an idea..."

**(A/N:**

**Fun, fun, fun... next time- Daleks meet the power of Monty Python, the Umbra meets a plastic pink cupcake, and Mr Rock meets someone's head.**

**Please Review!**

**And, sorry if you don't like this... I may be dropping this bombshell a bit late... but there will be a bit of Doctor/Rose shipping in here. It won't take up the story though! Also, Iwrote a DW oneshot, slightly related to this story. ^_^**

**Lotsa Luv,**

**~Kitty)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: How Not to Be Seen**

_And now back to Doctor Who: Into the Vortex._

"Got the vacuum cleaner?"

"Yep."

"Right, let's go." The Doctor entered the quarantine room slowly, holding a rubber mallet out in front of him. Rose followed behind him, carrying a handheld vacuum.

The Umbra turned around. "What's that fo-"

The Doctor bopped it smartly on the head with the mallet, and it dropped mid-sentence. Rose flicked the switch on the vacuum, which revved up with a roar.

"Are you sure this is gonna work?" she yelled.

"No!" he yelled back.

Rose quickly shoved the tube of the vacuum into Kitty's mouth, and flicked the power up to full. Tendrils of mist began to spew forth from her throat, and Rose moved the nozzle back and forth. More black mist came out of her, and, when no more was coming, Rose turned the vacuum off.

"What do we do with it?"

A face formed in the mist, and glared out at them angrily. It snarled, and began to push against its plastic prison. The vacuum creaked ominously.

"We need some sort of container," he replied, searching his pockets.

"Will this do?"

Rose and the Doctor turned around. Kitty was sitting, holding out a pink plastic keychain in the shape of a cupcake.

"See," she continued. "It opens."

She opened up the cupcake.

"It shuts."

She shut it with a click.

"It opens."  
She opened it again.

"It shuts. It opens. It-"

Rose snatched it out of her hands before she could continue, and handed it to the Doctor.

"Hey!"

"This is perfect, thanks."

The Doctor began to do something complex involving the cupcake and his sonic screwdriver. Rose turned back to Kitty.

"Quick, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

Kitty scrunched up her nose. "Uhhh... 3.6?"

"Good. You're you."

"Well, who else would I be? Oh, by the way, I'm sorry for attempting to kill you."

Rose blinked. "...all right then."

"Done!" the Doctor called. "Quick, Rose, grab the vacuum! Kitty, you stand in a corner, pretending that you don't exist!"

The two girls obediently did as they were told. The Doctor held up the sonic and split the vacuum in half. He directed the mist into the plastic cupcake and snapped it shut, sealing it with the sonic screwdriver.

"Done," he yelled, holding the plastic keychain up triumphantly. He stayed there for a moment.

"..I look really stupid, don't I," he said eventually.

"Yup."

/DW\

Kitty looked carefully at the readout from the TARDIS screen.

"Well, you could transport all of the Daleks into Seb's house," she mused. "He would deserve it. Or not," she hastily added at the look on the Doctor's face. "Uh. Okay. Maybe... I read about an island south of New Zealand. Uh... the Antipodes! Yes! Deserted! Desolate!"

"Great! I can find the coordinates from that." The Doctor entered some numbers and crossed his fingers. "49°41'17.3"S 178°46'00.4"E, in case you were wondering," he added.

"We weren't," Rose assured him.

"Okay. We'll go to Antipode Island, then."

Kitty curled up in the fetal position near the console, as the Doctor pressed some more buttons, flicked some more switches, and hit a big red button.

"Do you actually have a plan?" Rose asked him.

"Yes! Yes, of course I do."

"I bet it's brilliant."

"Yes, yes. It's brilliant."

"I bet it's clever, so clever no one else has thought of it."

"Yes, it is."

"I bet you don't actually have a plan."

"Yes, yes, that's right."

There was a pause.

"...did I just say that out loud?"

It was times like this that Rose wondered exactly why she had started to travel with him.

/DW\

"Right, we're here," announced the Doctor. "Now, keep behind me, and just watch. Because," he directed a glare at Rose. "Because, Rose Tyler, I do actually have a plan."

He flicked a switch on the TARDIS console, and peered at the screen where a fuzzy picture of outside had begun to form. "Right, I'm live." He cleared his throat. "Hello, Daleks! Welcome to Antipodes Island, where no human life exists. I am the Doctor, and I will be your host for this Public Service Film." He tossed Rose a video camera, and motioned for her to begin filming.

The Daleks on the screen had begun to scramble for cover. The Doctor flung open the door, and cleared his throat.

"Today we hope to show How Not to be Seen." He grinned like a madman, and checked the readout on his sonic screwdriver.

"This is Dalek Del, of the Planet Skaro. He can not be seen. I will now ask him to stand up. Dalek Del, will you stand up please?"

Rather stupidly, the Dalek stood up. The Doctor grinned again and brandished his sonic screwdriver at the Dalek. There was a loud bang.

"This demonstrates the value of Not Being Seen," he continued. "Now, over here, we cannot see Dalek Fer, of the Planet Skaro. Dalek Fer, would you stand up please?"

The Dalek, obviously not very smart, stood up. A bang emitted from the screwdriver, and Fer leapt up, and fell down, obviously dead. The Doctor moved on, turning to a bush.

"This is Dalek Nes of, again, the Planet Skaro. Dalek Nes, would you stand up please?"

There was a long pause.

"Dalek learnt the value of not being seen. However, he has chosen a very obvious piece of cover."

The bush exploded, and the Dalek let out a muffled scream. The Doctor, ignoring this, moved on to another piece of land, this time with three bushes.

"Dalek Sep of the same Planet Skaro, has presented us with a poser. We do not know which bush he is behind, but we can soon find out."

The Doctor methodically blew up the left hand bush, then the right hand bush, before finally exploding the central one.

"Yes," he explained to the camera. "It was the middle one." He walked a short distance to where an old, abandoned shack stood.

"This Dalek has concealed himself extremely well. He could be almost anywhere. He could be behind the wall, inside the water barrel, beneath a pile of leaves, up in the tree, squatting down behind the car, concealed in a hollow, or crouched behind any one of a hundred bushes. However we happen to know he's in the water barrel."

There was a pause, and then an explosion. Yes, the Dalek was dead.

"The last two Daleks chose a very cunning way of not being seen. When we called at their ship, we found that they had gone away on two weeks holiday."

Rose had doubled over in laughter at the ridiculousness of it all. The Doctor, unabashed, continued with a straight face.

"They had not left any forwarding address, and they had bolted and barred the house to prevent us from getting in. However my sonic told us where there were."

He glanced around. The Daleks were not there. "Give me a second," he informed the camera, before going on a mad hunt around the island. Rose and Kitty watched him for a moment, before strolling up to him.

"What?" he asked. Rose pointed. There, stood the two Daleks, watching him. There was a short pause.

The Doctor exploded one with his screwdriver, and turned to the other one. The sonic made a clicking noise, and he shook it.

"Oops," he turned to Rose. "Out of charge."

There was a long pause.

Then, Kitty ditched her rock at it. There was a clattering of metal, and the Dalek fell down, completely destroyed.

A long, long, silence ensued.

Then...

"Must have been a weak Dalek," the Doctor stated definitively.

* * *

**(A/N: **

**Yet more Monty Python. Thank you all. I will be back next week with Chapter Eight.**

**~Kitty)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight- The Bridge**

_And now back to Doctor Who: Into the Vortex_

"And that's that!" declared the Doctor, brushing his hands free of nonexistent dust. "Daleks defeated, Umbra captured, we can go back to our own universe! And get chips," he added as an afterthought.

"Great, just don't forget to drop the teenage girl home first," Rose reminded him.

"Oh yes, her."

There was a slight pause.

"Now, Doctor."

"Oh, fine." He set the appropriate settings into the TARDIS, and they took off. The journey took a total of 30 seconds, and the unlikely trio stepped cautiously outside.

"...this doesn't look like my house," said Kitty eventually. It was a dark, gloomy, dusty dungeon, much like the tunnel beneath the gravestone of Witherbones.

"Do you have a basement?" asked the Doctor hopefully.

"I don't think so..."

Rose sighed. "Face it, Doctor, you don't know where we are."

"I was sure I had got it right this time..." he frowned. "Maybe... we were diverted?"

"Hey," mused Kitty. "What's that weird purple..." She was abruptly cut off.

"Weird purple what?" Rose asked, turning around. She gasped and ran back a couple of steps.

"Yes, what?" added the Doctor. He looked. "Oh."

A big, weird purple thing was standing in the tunnel. To be more accurate, it was floating a couple of centimeters above the ground. An unconscious Kitty was slumped on the floor.

"Before you say anything, Doctor," Rose began. "Can I just point out how accident-prone she is? Even I don't get knocked out, what, four times a day?"

"Yes, you do have a point, Rose," acknowledged the Doctor. "Now, can I negotiate with the Kzulh?"

"Carry on. Just wanted to point that out."

"Thank you," he told her, before turning to what he had called a 'Kzulh'. "Now, I happen to know that Kzulhs are friendly medical aliens. Why are you..."

The Kzulh was now moving towards Rose, who backed up, running into a wall.

"Uh... Doctor?"

"Leave her alone!" he yelled at the purple alien, but it was too late. It had touched her with a gelatinous tentacle, and she slumped to the ground. The Doctor raced towards her, and caught her as she was about to hit the ground. He quickly and efficiently checked her medical signs.

"All okay, just sleeping," he muttered, and turned towards the alien, who had been continuously poking him, presumably to make him fall asleep. It obviously wasn't working.

"As I was saying, how and why are you doing this?"

The Kzulh's speech came from deep inside it's body, making it gurgle hideously. "I am the one True Kzulh. The others of my kind have fallen to helping the humanoids be saved. I alone follow the true path!"  
The Doctor waved a hand dismissively. "Yes, yes, but how did you get here?"

"Through the Bridge of Universes."

"How helpful. And how are you knocking these humans out? Kzulhs can only heal with a touch, they don't have any other powers."

"We can heal insomnia. And," it gave a low guttural chuckle. "I think you'll find that almost everyone needs more sleep. Except for you, it seems."

The Doctor brightened. "Fantastic! Now I know how to defeat you!" He grabbed a bottle of vinegar out of no where, and threw it onto the alien. It screamed, and shriveled up.

"That was waaay too easy," he mused. A clomping sound echoed down the tunnel. "Yes, I was right. Too easy."

He grabbed Kitty roughly by her shirt and shoved her in the TARDIS, before picking up Rose carefully and carrying her inside. He quickly sent the TARDIS careening into time-space. He gave the TARDIS a quick pat on her console, before dashing off to the infirmary. He held up a bottle of what looked a bit like leeches, and gave it a shake.

"Only enough for one person. Well, no prizes for guessing who that's going to be..." He shook his head and moved back to the two girls. Working quickly, he opened the jar, and placed the leech-things on Rose's forehead. She sighed slightly and relaxed. The Doctor gave her a small smile, and set the coordinates to Kitty's house.

/DW\

Rose woke just as the Doctor was dragging Kitty out into her bedroom. He left her, slumped on her bed, in a coma-like state.

"What happened?" she asked, rubbing her eyes. The Doctor rolled his eyes.

"You were attacked by a one-eyed, one-horned, sliming, purple people-sleeper."

"No, really, what happened?"

The Doctor blinked. "You don't believe me?"

Rose wrinkled her nose. "Uh..."

"It doesn't matter, 'cause right now we've got to repair a Bridge."

"Right." Rose turned abruptly on her heel. "I'll go to the workshop, I can probably find some wood, and a hammer..."  
"No, not that type of Bridge."

"Really? I guess we could find some metal then, if we really needed it."

"No, it's a dimensional Bridge."

"Ah." Her eyes widened in understanding. "So, Bridge with a Capital Letter?"

"Yes, the Capital Letter makes Everything more Official."

"Yes."

"Right."

"Uh huh."

"So, where is this Bridge, and why do we need to fix it?"

"Well, when you mentioned that there's no aliens in this universe, I realised, at least half of it. Then, when the Kzulh confirmed it for me... it kinda clicked."

Rose leaned against the console. "Go on, tell me. I know you're just dying to."

"You know me so well," he grinned. "Well, when we came over, I guess the Umbra had already been here, through some wormhole or other, it doesn't really matter. The important thing is, there's an infinite number of multiverses. So we had a one-in-infinity chance of coming to this one where our existence is a TV show."

"Pretty low chance, then."

"Exactly. So, the Umbra had a multidimensional homing beacon that functioned by pulling things in from our universes. Because, believe it or not, our universe is one of the most important things in the whole system. So when the TARDIS got pulled over, we accidently broke down a Bridge that was set there to keep the multiverse from falling apart. Think of it as... well... a blocked up bridge that nobody ever goes on."

"And we just opened up the expressway."  
"Now you're getting it. So, the Daleks, the weird snarly thing in the tunnels, the Kzulh, and what I think may be a Cyberman have come over. And we can expect more. So, we need to suck those aliens back up into the normal universe, repair the Bridge, and then get home ourselves."

"Well, that seems simple. But with you... it never is."

He bit his lip. "Yes... about that. We're going to have to jump from universe to universe to see if we can get home... I don't exactly have the name and number of ours. It's going to take a lot of time."

"We have a time machine."

"Ooh, good point." He began his wild dance around the console. "Well, we must be off! We have a Bridge to fix!"

**(A/N:**

**Allons-y! Off you go, guys. Have a nice trip. Leave me behind, sure. **

**I always intended to have Kitty leave the story at some point, because the Doctor and Rose just have to save the world on their own. It wouldn't be right otherwise. ^_^ But don't worry- Kitty will be back! Soonish. **

**NEW STORY UP! The Big Blue Box of Randomness- a collection of DW oneshots. Check it out!**

**I have to go work on the next chapter now. Please- review! I need at least 2 reviews, or the next chapter isn't going up!**

**NEXT TIME- A desert, and the Doctor's bad singing.**

**~Kitty)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine- Doctor the Tenth, I am, I am...**

_And now back to Doctor Who: Into the Vortex_

When the TARDIS landed, they stepped out into a desolate-looking landscape.

"It's a desert. I'm so impressed," commented Rose dryly.

"Yes, Rose Tyler. It is a desert. Or, at least, it looks like one..." He set the sonic screwdriver again, and pointed it at the ground. A whoosh of air, and the sand was blown back to reveal...

"Okay, a fake desert," conceded Rose, staring at the metal that had been uncovered. "What's the point of having a fake desert, though?"

"Well, I could think of a couple of reasons," the Doctor said from where he was, blowing more sand off to the side. "A synthetic desert might be a nice place for a holiday. Or maybe a zoo... but I think the point of this one was to uncover this."

"Another trapdoor," Rose groaned. "We're going to go into it, right?" Without waiting for an answer, she opened it easily, and slid down into it.

"Wait!" yelled the Doctor. Rose's head appeared.

"Is there something bad that I should know about?"

"Nah, just wanted to panic you a bit."

Rose rolled her eyes, and continued climbing down. Soon after, a pair of Converse shoes followed. The ladder stretched down for quite a bit, and Rose began to get into the rhythm of climbing. The acoustics of the walls made sounds echo eerily. So when the Doctor began to sing, it rebounded spookily through the enclosed space.

"I'm Doctor the tenth, I am, I am, I'm Doctor the tenth, I am..."

Rose stopped climbing, narrowing her eyes. The Doctor, not realising, continued climbing down and singing.

"I regenerated when I was at death's door, I've regenerated nine times before, and every one was a- OOF!"

He collided with Rose, and they fell down the stairwell.

"Why'd you stop?" he yelled at Rose, still falling.

"Why'd you start singing?" she retorted.

"Why are we arguing in mid-fall?"

"It's not falling! It's out of control flying!"

"We're about to crash!"

"I don't care!"

"We're about to crash!" he repeated.

"I told you, I don't care! Just listen to me for one moment!"

"No!" He grabbed her, and arranged her body into a perfect diving formation. They hit the water at the bottom of the ladder with a splash, the Doctor doing a backflip just before he hit. Rose emerged first, spluttering. She spat out a goldfish, and climbed out of the deep pool. The Doctor used her ankles as a ladder, and pulled himself out of the water, before shaking himself like a dog. Rose glared.

"You could have warned me that we were about to crash!"

The Doctor paused, his mouth open slightly. "You know what... no, forget it. This is way too confusing already."

Rose sighed, and pointed ahead. They had arrived in a garden, full of beautiful flowers and everything else you'd expect to see in a beautiful garden. "Where's the Bridge, then?"

"Bridge with a Capital Letter?"

"Yes, that Bridge."

"I'd assume it would be where the gorgeous glowing aura of heavenly light is."

Rose looked.

"Would that be the gorgeous glowing aura of heavenly light over there?"

"Yes, that gorgeous glowing aura of heavenly light."

"Just wanted to make sure. Do we go look at it?"

The Doctor frowned. "Well, we probably shouldn't. It could be extremely dangerous."

Rose turned on her heel, and set off. "That settles it then. Let's go have a peek at this Bridge."

"That's my girl," he grinned, and followed.

/DW\

"That is kinda cool," admitted Rose.

. She was staring at the- yup, you guessed it, the gorgeous glowing aura of heavenly light. Inside the aura was a rainbow looking Bridge-type thingie. It was impossible to describe, but I'll try anyway. The sleek, shiny material the Bridge was made of glittered with the lights of a thousand dying stars. It was all and nothing at the same time, and now the text is getting way too flowery, so I'm going to stop now. The Doctor shrugged.

"It's just a representation of how your mind thinks something beautiful is. In real life, it probably is a dull stone walkway or something. Just a psychic projection."

"A bit like the psychic paper, then," Rose mused.

"Yeah." The Doctor stared at it, apparently lost in thought.

"What do you see, then?" Rose asked him. He gave a guilty start.

"Oh! Nothing important, really. It doesn't matter. Come on, let's see what's happening with this Bridge!" He gave her a pained smile, and set off closer towards the Bridge.

The closer Rose got to it, the more beautiful it became.

e. It was almost painful to look at now, and she dreamily stretched out a hand to it, wanting to touch it. Suddenly, she was swept around, a pair of strong hands gripping her shoulders.

"Rose. Look at me." Her mind was still foggy, and she couldn't think properly. "Rose. Focus on the sound of my voice. Forget about the Bridge. Remember, Daleks and wormholes?"

"Yeah," she muttered. "In order to maintain airspeed velocity, a vortex needs to swirl about forty-three times every second..." Her voice got a bit steadier. "Doctor, what just happened?"

He closed his eyes. "Desire. You want to touch it, don't you? You want to keep it. Have your own bit of paradise. Just focus on something meaningless when you're looking at it."

"What happens if I do touch it?"

"Your atoms will break apart and be scattered about the universe, possibly in some very nasty places. And you'll be conscious of it the whole time," he replied casually. Rose's eyes widened.

"Oookay, definitely not touching it now." She inched gradually away from it, still focusing her eyes on the small paradise ahead of her. "Right, what do we do now?" She thought determinedly about the Doctor's extremely bad singing.

"We use a dimensional cannon to blast this Bridge to pieces."

_I'm Doctor the tenth, I am, I am..._ "We don't have it any more. You donated it to the orphanage, remember?"

"I donated it to the... what?"

"We still have a dimensional hand grenade though. Will that work?"

"Yes. Yes, it will. How do you know all these things about what weapons I have? Why do I even have weapons?"

"I once spent a lot of time wandering about the TARDIS with nothing to do, okay? And why do you have cans of Nitro-9 in the medical bay?"

"They're not mine, they're Ace's!"

"And why do you have a baseball bat that looks like it's been through a couple of wars?"

"That's Ace's as well."

"Why do you have it?"

"The Nitro-9 is useful sometimes, and that baseball bat was used the beat the hell out of a Dalek."

"Okay, I want to meet this Ace person."

"Yes, you do. And now, Rose, we should start moving back very slowly."

"Any reason why...?"

"Because there's something coming over the Bridge. And I very highly doubt it's friendly."

"Good idea."

The pair began swiftly moving away from the wonderous visions of the Bridge. A pair of metal feet were now visible. Rose gulped.

"Doctor, do you see a Cyberman?"

"Yes, I do."

"Good. I was afraid I was going insane."

There was a slight pause, in which the Cyberman got closer and closer.

"Wait, what was your name again?" the Doctor asked Rose. Rose frowned, and tapped on his forehead.

"I'm Rose. Rose Tyler, remember?"

The Doctor grinned demonically. "Nice to meet you, Rose. Now RUN. FOR. YOUR. LIFE!"

He dashed off through the garden, laughing maniacally. Rose grinned and ran after him. The scrambled up the escape pipe, Rose going first. The Doctor tossed a can of something down towards the Cyberman, and increased his pace.

"What was that?" she asked him.

There was a large explosion.

"Nitro-9. Why?"

**(A/N:**

**So, what do you think the Doctor saw? I have a prize for the first person that figures it out! Tell me... in a REVIEW.**

**~Kitty)**


	10. Chapter 10

**_Chapter Ten- Do You Like My Hand Grenade?_**

And now back to Doctor Who: Into the Vortex

Ashlee Redsmith was an ordinary worker at the Perth Zoo. She had a good pay, and she enjoyed taking care of the animals. And it was just a normal day when she had to clean out the Desert Animals exhibit. She strolled up to the exhibit, and unlocked the door, swinging her bucket of animal feed on one arm, and whistling 'Never Gonna Be the Same' as she went. The Desert Animals section had a couple of (thankfully harmless) snakes, some birds, a roadrunner or two, a tame coyote which she had nicknamed 'Willie E', and a few others. Plus the cactuses. Her favorite cactus was called Spikey, and although he didn't talk much, he was company.

Yes, Ashlee was a very lonely woman.

But she wasn't much used to things out of the ordinary.

So imagine her surprise when a young man (who had VERY nice hair) and a laughing blonde emerged from the sand, revealing a metal trapdoor beneath. The blonde had just recovered from her laughter, and was asking the man a question. Ashlee snuck forwards to listen.

"...Nitro-9 isn't exactly something you carry around in your pocket you know."

The man shrugged. "I figured it would be useful if we needed to completely wreck or destroy something. And it appears that that is precisely what we need to do."

Blondie snickered. "Do you think that will stop the Cyberman, though?"

Cyberman? Ashlee didn't exactly watch Doctor Who, but she had picked up a few terms from her sister's Niece, who babbled endlessly on about it. What was her name again, Kitten?

"Well, it might slow it down a bit. I don't think it's exactly easy to move with two melted legs," the man responded.

Weren't Cybermen fictional, though?

"Well, should we bring the baseball bat out, then? Or does that only work on Daleks?" Blondie demanded.

Yup, Daleks were fictional too. They were from that television show, Doctor Which.

"Oh, hello!" exclaimed the man, finally noticing her. "I'm the Doctor, and this is Rose!" Blondie gave a little wave and smiled at her. "Do you by any chance watch Doctor Who?"  
"No..." Ashlee managed.

"Oh, that's good then! Now, if a metal man comes out of this hole, do us a favor, pull the pin out of this, and throw it at him. And possibly run. That's a good idea." He handed her a can, messily labeled 'Nitro-9'.

"Don't worry, we'll clean this place up," assured 'Rose'. "Where are we?"

"We're in the Desert Animals exhibit of the Perth Zoo," replied Ashlee slowly. "How-"

"Told you so!" crowed the Doctor. He whipped out an odd pen-shaped thing and pointed it at the ground. The sand flew back to cover the trapdoor in the floor, and the pair headed towards a blue box sitting in the corner of the exhibit.

"Have a nice day!" smiled Rose, and they stepped into the box. The light on top of it flashed for a moment, and then it faded out of sight. Ashlee's mouth opened and closed a couple of times, before she shook her head. She bent down to the trapdoor, or where it was supposed to be, and felt around until she could open it. Glancing down into the dark, she decided not to investigate, and instead pulled the pin out of the can, and threw it down the shaft. One minute later, there was a BOOM and a clattering of metal.

Ashlee shut the door, wandered out of the exhibit, and dazedly went to make herself a tea. Those hallucinations were definitely getting stronger. Maybe she should see someone about it.

/DW\

"What a nice woman," the Doctor remarked off-handedly.

"Oh, I don't know. She seemed kind of shocked to see us."

"Nonsense! She was perfectly lovely!"

"Well, if someone told you to throw an explosive at a metal man if you just happened to see one, then went swanning off in a blue box that teleported, would you listen to them?"  
"We didn't swan off!" he exclaimed hotly.

"Yes, we did. This is us, swanning off, see?"

"Don't quote us, the first time we met!"

"Oh, and you didn't?"

"Ugh." He rested his head against the console. "You, Rose Tyler, are impossible. Go into the supply cupboards, and get anything we can use to completely and utterly wreck the Bridge."  
"Ooh, this will be fun." She headed off into the depths of the TARDIS, and arrived back five minutes later.

"What have you got?"

"Oh, let's see," she dumped all the things she was carrying onto the floor. "Two transdimensional hand grenades,

a laser gun, two meat shields..."  
"Meat shields?"  
"Well, they're shields made of beef. As I was saying... two meat shields, a cricket bat, something that looks sharp and spiky that may be useful, a pocket wrecking ball that enlarges when you do this-" She demonstrated, and the small ball on a chain grew about ten times bigger. "- a bow with a quiver of arrows, two robotic turtle doves, and a ham sandwich with a deadly bee."

"A deadly bee."

"Well, the bee was attracted to the ham sandwich, so I sealed them both in a plastic bag. It might come in handy later."

"It doesn't look that deadly to me."

Rose rolled her eyes. "It's just in case, okay? Oh, and I found Kitty's rock."

"Why would we need a rock?"

"Hm, let me think. Why would we need a rock that completely annihilated two Daleks. I wonder"

"Good point."

There was a short silence, broken only by the internal hummings of the TARDIS.

"So, how are we going to do this?" Rose asked the Doctor.

"I really shouldn't bring you along. It could be really dangerous."  
"And deadly."

"With a high chance of death, yes."

She thought for a moment. "Are you absolutely sure about that?"  
"Yes."

"Let's do this," she grinned.

"I knew there was a reason I picked you."

**(A/N:**

**This story is beginning to wrap up. There should be 2-3 more chapters before the end. :-)**

**NEXT TIME- Waaay too much violence and aliens to possibly ever be safe.**

**Lotsa luv,**

**~Kitty)**


	11. Chapter 11

**(Disclaimer- If a Cybermat attacks you, it's probably not a good idea to try to electrocute it with a cricket bat.)**

_**Chapter Eleven- High Chance of Death**_

And now back to Doctor Who: Into the Vortex

The Doctor poked his head out of the TARDIS, and immediately withdrew it.

"Vacuum cleaner," he demanded. Rose handed it over, and he poked the extendable nozzle outside, and switched it on. There was a brief rush of air, and about three Umbras were sucked into it. He threw it into a disposal bin, and the Umbras were sent down to a quarantine area.

"Easy enough," Rose grinned. "What's next?"

"There's a couple of unidentified aliens out there, plus a couple of Cybermen, and white squat-thing that I know, but can't remember what it is. It has claws," he added as an afterthought.

"Claws. Not nice. Bad. Not nice."

"So."

"So.

"So..."

"So... we charge them?"

"Yes, we charge them. And not on a stupid human credit card, either."  
"What's so bad about credit cards?"

"They're, well, they're all..."

"Human?"

"Yes!"

"Hey, you love us, and you'd do anything for us, remember?"  
"Yes, but credit cards are just evil."

"Focus. The Bridge, remember?"

They gathered up the various weapons, explosives, and pointy things, and strapped them to their backs, into their pockets, and any other place they could put them. Rose sucked in a deep breath.

"Before we do this..."

"Yes?"  
"I just want you to know that this was fantastic. Every single moment of it."

He smiled at her, and she couldn't help but smile back.  
"It's not as if we're going to die."

She laughed slightly. "Yeah, I guess it was kinda stupid of me."

"No, it wasn't stupid at all."

There was a short awkward silence in the TARDIS, and Rose coughed.

"Right. Let's do this."

"Right."

The Doctor flung open the doors of the TARDIS, and they stormed outside. Almost immediately, they were set upon by a hairy, evil-looking thing. Rose grabbed the cricket bat, and set about whacking it as hard as she could. The Doctor was preoccupied with finding a frequency on the sonic to deter a pack of beetles.

The beetles just happened to be carnivorous.

Rose finished up with whacking the hairy monster, and she kicked it into the corner. Bat aloft, she moved swiftly forwards, and was mobbed by a pack of silver mice. With teeth. And glowing red eyes.

"What are these things?" she yelled across to the Doctor, using the spiky thing she had found to hold them back.

"Cybermats," he called back, having finally found the right frequency to get rid of the beetles. They lay on their backs in some strange imitation of black leaves. "You may want to shock them electrically."

Saying that, he moved forward into a pack of Ood. Or whatever the collective term for Ood is, anyway. Muttering vague 'sorry's in their direction, he continued making his way closer and closer to the Bridge. He was now about 10 metres away.

Rose rummaged about in her bag, still holding the Cybermats back with the pointy thing. One Cybermat leapt up towards her, and she hit it hard with the cricket bat. The Cybermat let out a metallic squeak of pain, and fell to the floor. But the rest of them were getting more bold. Her hand came into contact with some wire cables. The ends were stripped off. She transferred those to the hand gripping the pointy thing, and found a battery. It was a large one, an American E-10. She frowned, desperately trying to remember her high school electronics classes. She was supposed to connect the positive wire to the negative side... right? Nervously backing away, pointy object swinging, she tried to assemble a rudimentary circuit.

A short walk away, the Doctor wasn't faring much better. A Macra was advancing on him, claws clicking. He was trying to distract it with talking, but wasn't having much success.

"You are SUPPOSED to be sentient!" he yelled angrily at it. "This is NOT fair!"

Apparently the Macra didn't care if the situation was fair or not. It was only intent on destroying the intruder- namely, the Doctor.

"Inbreeding," he muttered darkly, and darted underneath it's front legs, aiming on poking it in the stomach with an arrow. The Macra had other ideas. It snatched him up by the leg, leaving him dangling in midair, helpless. It clicked its claws rapidly together and scuttled from side to side in what could only be described as a happy dance.

The Doctor narrowed his eyes. "Oh, no, you don't." He aimed the bow- admittedly old fashioned, but still usable- and fired, directly at a pressure point. He had studied alien physiology, and knew exactly where a nerve cluster would be. The Macra collapsed, and he prised himself out from underneath a claw.

"Negative to positive," Rose exclaimed, and there was a crackle of electricity. She had pulled some of the covering off the wire, and now attached that bit to the edge of the cricket around, she allowed the Cybermats to come at her.

Swish- BZZT.

One of the rat-like creatures jittered for a moment in the electrical current, then fell. The others, not really noticing, or perhaps ever caring, continued their rush at her.

Swish- BZZT.

Swish- BZZT.

Swish- BZZT.

She repeated the action over and over, knocking more metallic animals out of the air, away from their deadly flight towards her. She really, really, hoped the battery would last.

Swish- BZZT.

Two more were left, and she readied her bat for the last strikes.

Swish- BZZT.

The last Cybermat seemed to realise that maybe, just maybe, it was in a spot of trouble. It squeaked nervously, and swivelled around, one twice. Rose saw a golden opportunity, and raised the cricket bat up like a golf club.

Swish- BZZT.

The last Cybermat fell, squealing, through the air. Rose laughed in triumph, the adrenaline of the situation buzzing through her veins. She ran towards the Doctor, who was disentangling himself from the claws of what looked like a giant crab.

"What next?" she asked, holding the slightly splintered cricket bat aloft.

"Nice work with the battery," he complimented her. "Next... we blow up the Bridge."

"That, I can handle."

They turned, and were confronted with the sight of a giant stone angel. Rose tilted her head to the side. "Okay, that's not exactly that bad compared to giant crabs and metal rats."

The Doctor's eyes widened. "Rose. Do not even blink."

**(A/N:**

**Okay, that last bit is pretty obvious to anyone who's seen a lot of episodes.**

**10Rose fluff? No, I didn't write any. You must be hallucinating.**

**NEXT WEEK: No blinking allowed, and finally- FINALLY- an explosion.**

**Lotsa love,**

**~Kitty)**


End file.
